Letter to an Expectant Mother
A Guide on How to Write a Letter to an Expectant Mother for Adoptive Couples
It is so excited to finally get to the point of writing the letter to the expectant parent. Exciting but daunting! So many adoptive applicants find this letter difficult to write. Here’s some tips:
BE YOURSELF
Most birth mothers choose a family that she has things in common with. It can be the most random thing that attracts her to your family. For one it was because the profile picture was a bit on the goofy side. The Dad and Mom where lifting their son up by his feet. The birth mom of their son could see herself doing that in the future. For another it was because the Dad is a K-9 police officer and she loves dogs. So it’s really all about being yourself. Your the only person that can be you so be your best self!
USE YOUR VOICE
Write like you would normally talk. Formal letters to the expectant mother can be dry, this is not a resume. Make it personal by letting her get to know you. Sharing short stories/experiences in your own voice will help her get to know you and get a feel for your personality. Make sure that if you are married you both contribute to the letter. It’s nice when the wife talks about her husbands personality and the husband talks about his wives personality. Make it fun and upbeat. Dad’s are important. Having a father for her child is often an important reason she decides to place.
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SHOW YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR
The adoption process can be stressful. Don’t wish your days away. Stop and enjoy where you are at right now. Share a story or experience that shows off your sense of humor. A little humor can really break the ice and help people to get to know each other.
OPENNESS
Generally state what your level of openness is. This is an important topic for many women who place for adoption. They want to know where you stand. Make sure you are only promising things you can and will deliver. UNDER promise and OVER deliver! It just makes the relationship go better!
MAKE YOUR SPACE COUNT
This is your chance to introduce yourself. Give enough information for someone get to know you in a nutshell, but don’t be too lengthy. Short paragraphs are easier to read and keeps the reader’s attention better.
SHOW COMPASSION
Most adoptive couples feel vulnerable. They are in the beginning stages of figuring out the process of adoption. In addition they most likely have had fertility struggles. It’s hard to imagine what a birth mother goes through to place her child for adoption. It’s nice to recognize the emotions and compassion, just don’t overly dwell on it.